You know, this really is Darla’s fault for phrasing it wrong – if you want that wussy, mild, little tame stuff from the supermarket shelves, she should have asked for cash to buy “a bottle of coke”. If she wanted the heavy stuff, that’s exactly how to ask for it. And apparently it’s as simple as “ask and you shall receive” in this family!

The number 1 rule to sending texts about a person’s weight is to make sure you’re texting the right person and not, you know, the actual person who has put on some weight! The second rule is to delete said texts afterwards so you don’t get busted, but that’s kind of pointless if you’ve already sent them to the wrong person and damaged your father-daughter relationship forever…

They say that fathers are always there for you, and this text thread certainly proves it! Not once does he ask who the potential victim is, when the assault is going to happen, or any possible motives.

Clearly it isn’t this guy’s first rodeo, and he must’ve had another life before he became a father because he sure knows how to get away with brutal crimes!